Live life and have fun

One more day

2011-03-13T00:38:00.001-07:00

My birthday is tomorrow. It is missing a sort of luster that I usually enjoy this time of the year. I don't know why...

Hopefully work isn't too bad tomorrow. :)

Hello Goodbye

2010-09-01T06:33:00.002-07:00

It's late. Should be getting to sleep soon. I want to, but for some reason my mind is still running. My black tea is good. Dr.Oz says that it is a stress reducer. Do I have stress? I don't think I do. I mean work has been just that, work, but I don't believe it is stressing me out. I think I'm just kinda floating by. I need something to anchor me down. I need school.

I'm back on my own. For a whole 10 days. I'm not looking forward to it. Well I mean I still have the hubby, but when he's at work and I'm not at work, I'll be on my own. I don't like it. But maybe I can spend some quality time with myself and re-evaluate how I feel about my life.

But truly, I am happy. Yes, there are always issues and things to worry about, but really those are trivial. They come and go. What I am more concerned about is whether I can still smile in the dark. Whether I can look at my husband and feel the same way I did when I first fell in love with him. And I can truthfully say that I can still smile, I can still melt in my husband's arms.

I love being here. I love Okinawa. It is so beautiful, so inspiring. It makes me feel like I'm living in paradise. I don't ever want to leave. But one day we will and I will remember this time with fondness and nostalgia. But until then, I will cherish the time I have here, and the happiness that I feel. For happiness is not a sure thing no matter how much I wish it was.

Who am I

2010-08-04T19:19:00.003-07:00

I take everything that I've seen and done and mix it into the vessel called my life.

I am everything that has happened to me. I think about the choices I've made, the beliefs I've formed and I wonder, where would I be led?

Time just flies by. Life is so short. I wish I knew what was going to be happen, but I'm glad I don't.

All I can do is continue living day by day, embracing the blissful moments, and striving to discover who I really am.

July 4th, 2001; 1045 hours

2010-07-05T07:28:00.004-07:00

I don't remember much about her. But I do know that when Independence day begins to loom around the corner, my thoughts of her rise. They also rise around my birthday. Hers was 7 days before mine.

Its been 9 years and every year I become more conflicted when I think about her death. Everything that has happened up until now can be traced back to that fateful day. Me moving in with my sister. Getting moved to Norfolk. Meeting Sam. Getting married. Moving to Japan. Her death set into motion the hands of destiny, and I'm sure that if she was still alive today, I never would have been put on this path in life.

I miss her terribly and I know my family does too. I may not have known her well, but my connection to her is more than knowing her personality. Its blood, but even more than that, the blood only mother's and daughters share.

She gave me life. And although gone, she lives in my memories.

Adjectives

2010-06-13T05:12:00.002-07:00

Sam is:
Restrained
Correct
Argumentative
Respectful
Logical
The life of the party
Assertive
Persistent
A force of character
Talkative
Strong willed
Disciplined
Aggressive
Determined
Critical
Influential
Unyielding
Out-spoken
Serious
Loyal
Self-sacrificing
Stoic
and
Directing.

I am:
Expressive
Exciting
Willing
Unpredictable
Out-going
Gentle
Even-tempered
A perfectionist
Easy going
Accommodating
Humble
Playful
Adventurous
Restrained
Sympathetic
Impulsive
Lively
Kind
Pleasant
A procrastinator
Spontaneous
Considerate
Dependent
and
Tolerant

My life

2010-06-06T06:19:00.004-07:00

I barely have time to blog anymore. I suppose life has gotten in the way. Somehow I am not completely sure how the days pass so fast. When I think back, its all a blur of work and more work.

I have come to cherish those relaxing moments when I can forget about everything and just live in the moment. Life is too precious to waste away. I must enjoy what I have now and savor it until it is time to move on.

I wish I had taken better care of my body. It needs some serious TLC.

I may think too much, or maybe I don't think enough. Either way, my brain is always leading me down ways that I am not too sure about. Luckily my heart is there to guide the way.

I'm getting a tattoo in 17 days.

Fun in the sun

2010-05-25T05:46:00.002-07:00

The best part about living on an island is being able to go to the beach whenever you want. I love it.

And I just don't know

2010-04-29T05:36:00.003-07:00

I don't know what to tell you. I really don't. I can't make you care. I can't change who I am.

I don't know what to tell you. Well what do I have to say when I've already told you everything on my mind. In my heart.

What do I tell you!? Something that you want to hear? But what did I do wrong? Please tell me what I did wrong. Tell me what you are feeling and why.

Don't shut me out. Don't drive me away. Don't inflict me pain.

But I don't know what to say.

Just tell me how to make things better. Tell me how to change.

A shroud of gloom

2010-04-02T07:02:00.002-07:00

So in the past two days I have been a witness or player in the sadness called Life. I've heard of two of my coworkers loosing family members, one of my close family members getting divorced, and my husband's grandma already sitting in her death bed. Things have been shitty (to say the least). I try to stay positive, but I don't want to be naive. How can I still smile knowing that things are going down the drain?? But as my sister says, "Life goes on." So I will try to enjoy those small moments and try to not let the sadness of life to penetrate my soul.

Its a New Year

2010-01-10T20:32:00.004-07:00

Its a New Year and this is what's happened so far:

January 1st I woke up in a tent with a wonderful man on an amazing island in an incredible country.

January 4th I celebrated my 3 year anniversary with the love of my life.

January 7th I reconnected with girl friends.

January 9th I partied and had fun.

And soon to come:

Tomorrow I start school.

January 14th I get rid of my glasses.

January is going good so far. Slow and steady but fast as hell at the same time. I am both happy and sad.

Yay for a New Year.

It doesn't feel like Christmas

2009-12-22T05:34:00.002-07:00

I suppose its because I'm not around family. Being surrounded by the people you love (and love you) is always a holiday booster. Sam insists on not understanding that I just want to spend time with him and probably thinks I'm all moody and whatnot due to psychological problems or something. Whatever.

It doesn't feel like the holidays. I guess I should just go to sleep.

Another long day

2009-11-29T05:29:00.003-07:00

I think I've been overworked. It seems that the past few days have included the two biggest blunders I've had at work so far. I know I'm still new and still learning, but I don't like feeling like I didn't achieve my best. That everyone who was counting on me had to take a step back and wonder if I was actually fit for the job. Sigh.

I guess I am being the hardest on myself. I shouldn't be, but I am. I am definitely learning from my mistakes, but I just wish I didn't have to go through this in the first place.

Work has been draining the energy and security out of me. I can't wait for my day off. I can regroup, recharge, and realign myself to making smarter choices and staying away from feeling crappy.

I guess I just have to get used to having work and other responsibilities at the same time. Its been hard getting adjusted.

But I suppose its all part of growing up. Sigh.

Stress and a life of communication

2009-11-16T21:04:00.002-07:00

So life has been extra stressful lately. Not on purpose, but just because that is the way things are.
The mixture of work, errands, and school work have taken its toll on my emotional capacity and communication with Sam has suffered a little bit.

But things are getting better. Sam and I have talked. I've realized that I can't be super human. I can't do everything. So I'm just taking one day at a time.

We also have house guests. The Barrons are staying with us for an undisclosed amount of time. Until they can get a place of their own I guess. Its only been a few nights, so we'll see how it goes in the long run.

The ball is tomorrow. I have my dress and my hair appointment. All I need to do is my nails and my eyebrows, which I will take care of at home. I wish Sam and I didn't have to work the day after tomorrow so that we could both get wasted, but unfortunately responsibility has stepped in and taken that possibility away.

But I'm excited about Thanksgiving and Sam's birthday. I finally found his present, too.

I just have to remember one day at a time and to keep communication with the hubby and things will work out.

Just breathe. :)

The Holidays

2009-10-24T06:41:00.004-07:00

Halloween is this Friday. It doesn't feel like the holidays already. I guess maybe its because I'm in Japan and Japanese don't celebrate Halloween. Maybe its because instead of being 50 degrees, orange and brown, its 70 degrees and vibrant green. Maybe its because no one here has really taken the effort to really deck out their houses in the Halloween spirit. Whatever it is, it sucks.

It doesn't feel like the holidays. And I'm worried. I'm worried that because we're a day ahead of the states, I wont get to watch the Macy's day parade on Thanksgiving day because it wont be on until hella early in the morning. Or that calling my family on New Years Day would be weird because it wont be New Years Day for them yet.

Ahhh. I should just stop worrying and be grateful for what I have. Grateful that Sam and I are safe, we're living comfortably, and we're living the experience of a lifetime. I should just be grateful.

Managing Life

2009-10-20T20:39:00.002-07:00

Yesterday was my first day of work. It went okay, considering.

I am trying to stay positive. I really want to fall into my old routine of being unhappy and annoyed, but I am fighting it. I want this time to be different. I want this time to be something more.
I don't want to disappoint Sam again.

Plus I want to show myself that I can grow up. That I can take the responsibility of having a job and keeping it. Hah.

Lets see: Positive things about Work-

1. I can paint my nails crazy colors
2. I can wear pretty much anything I want to except for jeans and heels
3. It is literally, down the street
4. I get an hour lunch when I work 8 hours
5. Work is generally easy
6. The money isn't bad
7. After six months I can try to get into the manager's program
8. It follows me wherever we go next
9. The people I work with are nice
10. I learn a lot of things
11. Pretty chillax
12. Just in time for the holidays!

Okay, I feel a lot better. I'm ready for work!!

"dora moments"

2009-10-16T22:46:00.002-07:00

I almost hit an oncoming car today after I realized I was driving in the wrong lane. It scared the crap out of me.
The worst part was I didn't even notice that I was driving in the wrong lane. I don't even know how my brain managed to do that without me noticing. At least no one was on the road until I got to the stop sign. Its just another one of my "dora moments."

Anywho I should be dong homework, but really I'm just wasting time. Maybe I'll go check out this fabric store I was told about. Or go check out the festival on base today. Eeehh I'm not sure what I want to do. I wish I had more people to hang out with...

Anywho I bought fiber base coat nail polish and it literally has pieces of fiber in the nail polish. I thought it was funny.

Well I guess I'll go back to thinking about what it is that I want to do for the rest of the day. I hate it when Sam works weekends...

Yawn

2009-10-14T16:27:00.003-07:00

Woke up early today. I thought I had to go in for work, but it turns out that I didn't. Actually it was a way complicated mess, but I don't feel like explaining it right now.

I have a few things planned for today: cleaning, homework, laundry.

Woo. I'm one crazy s.o.b.

0_o

Well we are going to the sushi go round tonight, so that's something to do. Yummy sushi!

Also it raining like crazy outside. That's interesting...kinda.

Kay, back to tv then. TTFN.

Want to know your future?

2009-10-12T12:57:00.003-07:00

So its 5am. Here.

1pm Pacific
4 pm Eastern

Also, we're a day ahead than the rest of the world. Adjusting to the time difference wasn't hard. What is hard is having to wait till its hella late or hella early to be able to call any normal business in the states. For example, I just got off the phone with my school in Arizona. I called to find out what would happen to my financial aid after I dropped out of my classes. So far its okay.

But I don't want to be have to be awake at 5am to be able to make the call. Unfortunately, I have no choice.

Its weird because I continually live in two different time zones. Yes, I physically live here in Japan, in this time zone and day. But when I'm on the computer, I live on the west coast. I base the time off of the time there because that's when everyone I know is up and about. Its interesting.

I make a joke that because the time difference is so great, I can tell everyone their future. Haha, I wish.

Another Monday

2009-10-11T18:37:00.003-07:00

Yesterday was an interesting day. Sam and I went to the Naha Tug-Of-War and I have never felt so claustrophobic in my life. I felt like a sardine...and it was made even worse with the smells. I couldn't stand it and it was bad enough that I felt like I just had to get out. But Sam and I braved it again and we even got our piece of good luck rope. All in all it was an fun experience and I can't wait to go again next year.

Today I have homework to do. After that I think I am going to clean up the house or probably do some yard work. I also have to go do some food shopping. I am hoping that my background check gets completed soon so that I can start working already.

It is so weird. I am doing the exact same stuff I've always said I've hated but this time its different. Yes I'm working retail/sales AGAIN, but I'm actually excited this time. Sam asked me why I was acting different this time and I told him that I think its because I am looking at this job in the long term.

I am not just looking for a "job" anymore, but something that could lead me to my career. And if working in sales is it, then why fight it? I don't have to be a sales associate my whole life. I can move up. I can be a supervisor, manager, district manager, etc. The sky is the limit.

I've also decided that I am going to do my bachelors in business. Thus if I do move high enough in the chain with this job, then I could work the office job that I've always wanted. I could do financial managing or marketing or whatever. So that's the reason why I see this job differently. And I can't wait.

Also I am excited to get out of the house. To be doing some productive, and you can't forget about the MONEY.

Well time for homework. I only have a few hours to finish it, so I better get cracking!

I GOT A JOB!

2009-10-07T03:09:00.002-07:00

Yess!!!

I was woken up today with a call letting me know that I had a job. A FREAKING JOB! Oh my gosh, I don't know how to feel. I am just so excited that I am finally getting all this weight off of my shoulders and that I'm actually accomplishing something that has been my goal since day 0.

Geez!

Seriously, I can finally breathe better... I looked at our bank account yesterday, and Sam and I doing okay with just his pay check. Not great, but okay. But with my income as well... we're going to be able to get out of debt faster and be able to spend money however we see fit. And just in time for Thanksgiving, Sam's birthday, and Christmas.

Yay!

My vision board is working. And I don't think it just the vision board, but my efforts as well. The vision board just keeps me from loosing hope.

I got a job! FINALLY!

I miss TV

2009-10-03T18:28:00.004-07:00

I didn't realize that websites like hulu, fancast, and myspace videos had legal issues showing videos outside of the United States. It is very frustrating especially when I feel like watching TV. Sigh...Instead I'm going to do my homework. lol.

Well yesterday was a fun day. We traveled farther up north than we ever have before. The island is not that big, but that's doesn't mean that exploring is easy. On the contrary, if we hadn't been able to follow people, I would have been VERY confused. It was a great adventure though.

I love how I am continually amazed by the beautiful views here. The pictures I have do not do it justice...And then I get told that there are ever MORE beautiful places and I just can't even imagine it. I am still amazed I like in Okinawa!

But so far everything has been going good. I still have yet to find a job. I dreamt about working all night long...I hope it was a premonition or something, haha.

Now I'm just enjoying my coffee and on the computer. Maybe I could start watching The OC again...

Our house is back!!!

2009-10-01T04:01:00.002-07:00

So the movers FINALLY came yesterday. I was so excited and relieved to see our stuff! Well both Sam and I were. We spent all day taking things out of boxes and putting them away. Funny, cuz the first thing I unpacked was our coffee machine. I didn't even try to make it happen that way, it just did. But that is definitely the best part about having our stuff back: the kitchen!!!

Life is coming together quite nicely. Sam and I are slowly getting more and more into a routine. And as soon as I can get hired, then we could really seal the deal on what "normal" life will be.

Its funny because I feel myself growing up. Haha, I don't mean growing pains, but I find myself shedding a lot of the old "childish" mentalities I used to hold on to so fervently. I am both glad and saddened, but really, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

I am waiting to hear back from the job at the exchange (if I hear back). I would love to work there, I really would, but I'm kind of scared to raise my hopes up. I guess I don't want to be disappointed. BUT then again, I'll end up wherever it is that I need to be. It always works that way in my life...

Anywho, I should really be asleep right now. Sam already racked out...I'm just being a junkie. Stupid coffee! (I didn't mean it coffee! Your coconut-ee goodness was too delicious to resist!)

I have a job interview!!!

2009-09-27T04:09:00.002-07:00

So today I got called in for an interview on Tuesday at the exchange here on base. I owe it all to my vision board. Thanks to a family friend who gave me the idea, I created my vision board yesterday and posted all the things that I wish to achieve. So far, I like the way things are going.

And this job interview just tops it all off. I mean it feels like a huge weight has just been lifted from my shoulders. Like I can finally breathe, you know? I don't have to feel like Sam and I's relationship is one sided. I can hold my own.

Eeek I am so freaking excited! And I hope I get it. Scratch that, I WILL GET IT. :D

Epiphanies and such

2009-09-22T22:10:00.002-07:00

So I realized the other day that things are truly going great. I mean things could be better (we could have our stuff, I could have a job, we could have all debts paid off...) but I am truly happy.

I realized that the only thing holding me back from truly reaching my potential, is me. I suppose I procrastinate too much. I find reasons NOT to do things. Now I am trying to find reasons TO do things. Its new for me, but I can see it working out.

I'm trying to stay positive. That's really all I need. And Sam is great. He stands by me in all my insecurities even when he doesn't have to.

The Weekend...

2009-09-18T22:45:00.002-07:00

...is here, yet it doesn't really matter.

Sam works all weekend, and I am suppose to be doing homework and job applications. Obviously I am not (at this moment) but that means our weekend doesn't start until Monday. Sucky. Sigh.

I'm recuperating quite nicely. I can eat solid foods now as long as I pay attention to what I'm doing and don't hit any of the soft spots. A little bit of my gum is inflamed, but I'm keeping an eye on it by making sure rinse with my mouth antiseptic and keep the salt water coming. lol.

Life is moving along nicely. I wish some things were easier, like school. Having to withdraw from class is going to be difficult and I'm going to have to jump through some hoops, but I'm just looking forward to it getting done.

The most stressing thing right now is the job hunt. I hate feeling like I'm not good enough. I can put as much frou frou on my resume and application as I want, but that doesn't erase the fact that I've made some horrible decisions and that now I'm going to have to deal with them. Bah.

Very very stressful...

Another stressing factor is that I cannot freaking grow up already. Seriously! I mean I see myself doing certain things and thinking certain ways that I KNOW are detrimental to my maturity. Its frustrating. But something inside me is so stubborn! Grrr!

I just need to get over it and grow up. Easier said than done...

Well, on that self bashing note I am going to continue on my homework that I should have finished yesterday but didn't.

Surviving in Okinawa

2009-09-16T16:40:00.002-07:00

I had my wisdom teeth taken out two days ago. And it wasn't that bad. Seriously!

I was nervous and scared at first, but its turns out the worst part during the past two days were the shots they had to put to numb my mouth. Although I'm still recuperating and I'm always hungry because I can't eat solid food, things are going pretty well. At least a lot better than I had imagined.

Anywho, yesterday I spent ALL day applying to a payroll technician job. Job applications here are so involved and take A LOT of time. I have to change my resume to fit every job I apply for AND then there are these things called KSA's (knowledge, skills, and abilities) which are basically little essays stating how I am qualified for the job. The KSA's are the hardest part because they hold the most pressure. If my KSA's dont score high, then my resume doesn't even get looked at. Yep, sucky but true.

Today I want to apply to more jobs, but I have school work to do. I tried to call the registry office to withdraw from my math class (which I hate doing but they never mailed my book!!) but they wanted me to press a number to get to a specific department and I was calling on skype, so that didn't really work for me. I called the registration ladies directly but their answering machines picked up but I couldn't remember our skype number, so basically I either have to stay up hella late or wake up hella early in order to call at a decent time. I hate the time difference.

Regardless, things are okay. OH and TMO was suppose to come in on monday and guess what they told Sam? We don't know where your stuff is. WTF?! I just want our things already! Specifically our pots and pans. Its just an all around PAIN IN THE ASS! Hopefully our stuff gets in soon...wish us luck!

Just another day

2009-09-11T19:58:00.004-07:00

Yesterday we explored Japan some more. It was interesting navigating down the Japanese roads and watching trucks pass beside me, not even a foot from our window, or following turn after turn down a two way road that is as big as one
freeway lane in the US. So
far what I've liked best about being here is the food. Everything is just delicious and top notch. The Japanese curry here is TO DIE FOR, literally. I would risk my life for some of that curry, that's how good it is, haha.
We stopped by the pet store out in town which had some awesome fish and even a giant, prehistoric beetle that you could take home and make your pet. Oh they also had the cutest turtles. I told Sam I wanted one. He said he wanted the beetle and was going to ask customs if he could ship it. HA.

Anywho, today we're pretty much just cleaning, doing laundry, and homework. We're planning on going to the other pet store today, but its not a big deal if we make it or not.

Next Tuesday I am getting my wisdom teeth out. I am a little annoyed by the fact that I have to spend a significant amount of time and effort recovering from that when I could be going to job interviews or volunteering. Definitely inconvenient, but I rather get it over with now.

Besides that, life is going good. We are definitely fitting in here nicely and I wouldn't be surprised if 3 years pass by real quick.

A new chapter in my life

2009-08-18T04:11:00.004-07:00

Over the years I've become accustomed to change and the quickness with which it can occur. Sometimes the change is subtle and the transition is less pronounced. Sometimes the change is drastic and the transition takes months to fully complete. My life is in the latter type of change.

I can still remember the day Sam told me that we were going to Japan. I can remember thinking how far away it seemed but how fast it was going to come. And now, I am here, in a whole different country, with nobody to lean on except myself and Sam.
Well, that last part is not true. I have family and friends just a call or click away. But still it is not the same.

I am both excited and nervous for the things to come. I want so much out of this place and I hope that in some way I can give something back. My life has taken many turns and this one is just another one to add to the list. In time I think I will be able to entertain the reality of being in a different country without being blown away by so many things to be amazed about, but for now I will continue going through the motions, learning, and eventually, settling down into our new home.

7:18pm

2009-06-18T19:13:00.003-07:00

I haven't left the house in a few days. I mean really, where am I going to go? And if I do find somewhere to go, it is a requirement to spend money.

Hummm...I haven't had mexican food in a while. You'd think Sam and I would be stocking up considering we're going to have Japanese food at our disposal for quite some time. But no, instead we are eating more oriental style dishes and passing the mexican food. Why? Is it because we are ready to move on? I think so.

I'm ready. To move on to a new place that is.

To move to another country? I'm not sure. I'm excited to go. And scared. My only question is which one will win out.

I need to leave the house. I really do. I went for a weird "i-either-get-out-of-this-house-or-its-my-sanity" run/walk. Needless to say it was WAY too hot out for me to stay out long. And somehow I managed a half hour.

I'm going to call Nina.

The "Back Cover"

2009-06-11T16:50:00.002-07:00

I've been working on my story. Well mostly, I've been working on a fictional "back cover" that I could show Sam and ask whether the story sounds interesting or not. Maybe I could send it to friends for their input as well. Maybe I could actually make a fake cover and ask them if they would read that book. Who knows...

Anywho, I've felt like crap all day. I woke up with a serious head ache and its still kind of there. Regardless, I went walking earlier and sat out in the sun for a while so that I could lighten my hair. I think I am going to go out again later. I am done being a bum all day. So I am actually going to start my plan and loose weight. I mean what else am I doing? Nothing. But what can I get praise for?? Loosing weight. Yup. Maybe I can loose enough weight for our family gathering so that everyone can see my accomplishment...humm, can we say motivation??

Okay, well back to my regular schedule.

Eggs benedict

2009-06-09T11:22:00.001-07:00

Poached an egg today for eggs benedict. It was interesting. I think the most interesting part was the hollandaise sauce which I've never tasted before. All in all, it came out okay. Nothing spectacular, but I'm just glad that it came out period.

Anywho, today I have no idea what I'm doing. I want to go out and do some exercise, but who knows if I'll really do it. I also want to clean and do laundry today as well. Things have just kind of been going with nothing real big going on.

Sometimes I feel so out of myself, but then again sometimes I feel so human.

Outta my mind.

2009-06-01T23:39:00.002-07:00

Its been just another day. Today though I actually felt like I HAD to get out of the house. I was so absolutely LAZY and just BUMMY today. I even got mad at Sam for going to El Centro to do his swim qualification just because he got to go into a different city and go swimming.

OH my gosh I NEED A HOBBY. I just need to exercise. I really do. I am going outta my mind! Sigh.

Don't forget to breathe.

2009-05-31T23:20:00.003-07:00

I have to get up early to take Sam to work, but I'm still awake. I really should get to sleep soon. I suppose I am just waiting for the excitement from the MTV movie awards to die down. It was awesome and I really cannot wait to see New Moon. I am almost tempted to read Twilight again... I think I will.

I think of my own story and I really hope it would be as big as deal as Twilight. But then again...maybe Twilight should stay on its pedestal. I really do love it.

I just want my dreams to come true. But doesn't everybody? But if mine did come true I would be unbelievably grateful. Grateful for this life and my existence. Well I dont need my dreams to come true for me to be grateful, but I guess I will be MORE grateful. That sounds about right.

Sometimes I feel so out of myself and my little world and I wonder why I can't do more. Like actually acheive my dreams. I don't understand my mind sometimes...something holds me back, but I don't know what. Sigh... I should get to sleep.

Life goes on

2009-05-31T12:47:00.002-07:00

The days have been flipping by pretty quickly lately. I feel like one moment I am waking up and the next I am in bed getting ready to fall asleep. The days feel so short but so long at the same time. I suppose that without work and school to keep some sense of time in you, things can just go by as quickly as they came.

That's all I'm pretty much thinking about for now. I guess I'll go back to my pyramids game.

Spirit

2009-05-28T11:05:00.002-07:00

So we got our new computers yesterday. I absolutely love mine. Its white and cute and perfect. I even have a super cool computer case/big purse/traveling companion. Sam's computer is just like mine but black. I have photoshop, but I still have yet to try it out. Actually I'm a little worried that I wont remember how to do everything. AND not to mention that I have a million pictures on my other computer that I need to put on this one. I doubt I'm going to be able to transfer all of them. No, revise that, I doubt I'm going to have the patience to transfer all of my pictures.

Anywho...things are good. We gave the guinea pigs away yesterday. I'm a little sad to see them go and I really hope they are okay, but really we didn't get to bond much and its kind of nice not having to worry about them. So I hope they are happy in the next chapter of their lives. Haha...

Well I don't know what I'm doing for the rest of the day but I really hope its something. It would be nice. Hah..

Procastinating Sleep.

2009-05-26T22:10:00.002-07:00

Should be getting to sleep soon. Don't know why I'm still up actually. I have to be up kinda early tomorrow because someone wants to come by around 11am to see the guinea pigs. Plus Sam is asleep beside me and I think I may be keeping him up. So off to sleep for me.

My hubby is back :)

2009-05-24T10:42:00.002-07:00

So Sam got back yesterday. FINALLY! I feel safe and NOT paranoid in my own house. Haha... we went crazy and traded our 360 for a PS3. We've been playing Little Big Planet ever since. I got up at 6:30a today! That's even more crazy. I mean I never wake up that time...

Nothing much is going on today. Sam and I have to go food shopping...I want to make gyros. Sam made some super good fried pickles yesterday. I guess we are culinary adventurers because tomorrow I want to try making poached eggs in eggs Benedict.

Umm, I haven't been working on my story much, but I'll try to today. I'm just happy Sam is back. :D

When shit hits the fan

2009-05-22T21:13:00.003-07:00

What do you do when life hands you shit? You get through it. What do you do when you are just a bystander, watching a dear friend go through it by themselves? What do you do then?... You hope. You pray. And you just be there.

I'm not sure why I couldn't be there before. But one thing is for sure. I've made a great friend. And I can't let her down.

Written by D.Powers

2009-05-21T13:16:00.003-07:00

So I've started working on one of my possible future careers: Novelist. Yup, that's right! I'm going to be an Author. Hehe... I feel like it suits me although I am definitely not giving up on Math. I love math as well...maybe one day I can write a book about it. Not like a science book, but one that uses a lot of math, or numbers.

So yeah, I'm happy to have started to work on that. I feel like I am actually getting somewhere unlike the places I have been in the past. I account it to all the reading I've been doing lately. It helps with the creative process. I mean I'm not stealing ideas, but I'm using things I've seen and learned to supplement my own ideas.

I told Sam he had to help me with the publication process... because it can be scary! Maybe I can write about something Japanese once we're in Japan. It works!

Ahhh, my life! What am I going to do with it?

For now I think I'll just get in the shower. And brush my teeth.

Another Day

2009-05-19T14:32:00.001-07:00

I have a few things I have to take care of today. Mostly it includes taking care of the animals that have been neglected for the past 4 days. San Diego was great. I had lots of unexpected fun with my cousin and I enjoyed hanging with family and friends. I had some crazy blasts from the past, but all in all, I had a good time.
Sam comes home this Saturday which I am soo happy about. I've missed him! Plus I can't stand being alone in this house anymore...
If I could have stayed in San Diego longer, I would have. But like I mentioned before, the animals are keeping me here. On that note, the guppies have spawned so many times that I wouldn't be surprised if there was about 100 fish in there.
Anywho, right now I am off to the shower and then to wal-mart. Its going to be nice to get out of the house for a little while, even if its hella hot. TTFN.

Emotionally heavy

2009-05-10T00:00:00.004-07:00

Things have been so emotionally heavy lately. Mostly it has to do with Sam's little brothers. First, Zach got into a horrible car crash Thursday night and he's in the hospital under critical care. I really want him to be okay, but as of right now, it looks like things aren't getting easier for him and I dont even want to think about the end that leads to. Sigh.
Second is Cory who Sam has been messaging and what not and which I dont really want to get into the middle of.

I just want to be able to breathe in, breathe out, and have everything be okay and back to normal. But I breathe and breathe and its all the same.

My lonelyness isn't helping. Maybe if Sam was here, it would be a little easier. But being alone leaves too much time to think and to worry and to just not do anything at all.

Also tomorrow is mother's day. Although I did everything to send both me and Sam's "moms" (thats in quotes cuz one, Dawn is Sam's step mom, two, his real mom has never been a "real mom," and third I didn't send anything to my mom. Instead I sent a card to the closest thing I have; my sister) things, I still feel like something is missing. Tomorrow is kind of a depressing day for me anyway because, well, I miss my mom.

And the way I miss her is different. I dont miss anything specific like the smell of her perfume or the way she laughed. Instead I miss the "what ifs." The unanswered questions that I will never get answered, let alone asked. Like if she would have liked Sam or approved of me marrying so young. If she would be happy I'm moving to Japan or not. That's what I miss. I miss the things that were never there.

I wish she was here, but I dont want to change where I am in life. I almost feel like I'm happy she's dead, which is horrible, but if she were alive I would never have met the love of my life.
I'd almost be happy with sitting and talking with her ghost, but the more I think of it, the more I dont actually want to do that. Not because I'm scared or anything, but because I'd miss her much more afterwards and I kinda like the little protective bubble I'm in. Sigh...I need to get off this topic.

Like I said. Its been emotionally heavy lately.

This is me.

2009-04-23T16:24:00.002-07:00

I am in a completely different place I was only two years ago. No longer am I fighting the inevitable. No longer do I feel like I am not achieving as much as I can. No longer am I a scared little girl who lived in a life and a situation that required maturity and responsibility.

No longer am I that girl, and no longer will I ever be her forevermore. I have matured into the life I have and will have. But I already knew this. I figured this out months ago.

What brought it all back?

Old friends. Old mentalities; forgotten ones and new ones.

I no longer seek to hide myself nor do I wish to go back to the way things were. I see that now. Where I was two years ago, although in the same environment, is completely different.

I used to want a few pieces of who I used to be to continue existing. Like the best friend that was attached to my hip and the adventures we used to get into. But although I still miss that, I do not require that in my life now. I am capable of looking at those good times, thinking of them in fondness, and miss them, but not be torn between my wish to have them back and my inability to.

I am who I used to be but not really. I wouldn't say I'm a better version either. I like who I've been. I like those qualities that make up who I am. But I no longer think the same. Life...life has changed for me. And not in a bad way.

I took a walk the other day and I came home crying. Crying because my husband is going to leave me alone for a month (again) but also crying in happiness. I walked into my house with fresh eyes and I saw all the amazing things I owned and all the love I have built with someone who is going to be with me forever.

I saw all of this for the first time and I couldn't help but be happy, amazed, and confused all at the same time. I don't know what I did to get where I am now, but it must have been good. And although some terrible stuff had to happen for me to be here, I wouldn't haven't any other way.

I have a wonderful life, I really do. I am happy. I am safe. I have love and I have support. I am exactly where I need to be. I don't know where I'm going, and frankly, I'm a little scared. But if it turns out half as good as I have it now, I am going to thank my lucky stars.

I have truly been blessed.

And I hope that everyone can find what I've found. I hope everyone can live regret-less lives and can truly smile in the dark.

Cribs

2009-04-16T13:45:00.002-07:00

I like watching that show. Right now I'm watching the Gods of Rock edition and I really think they should have brought in an interpreter for Ozzy Osbourne. Lol...He's like 61! Ridiculous huh?? Anywho, I wish we were rich. Because my house would be AWESOME!!!

I told Sam I only had three absolute things I HAVE to have in my dream home:
1. A big kitchen
2. A hidden fridge (as in the doors look like cabinets)
AND
3. A big closet

I would also like a theater, but that's only if we have enough money. At least things I want are possible even if we aren't millionaires.

Well I've started hydroxycut. It supposedly speeds up your metabolism and burns fat, but all I really care about is loosing weight. Woo!!! Yeah, I'm excited. Hehe...okay so back to program.

I'm working out!

2009-04-14T20:26:00.002-07:00

I went to the gym today. I did the muscle class and I stayed to do Yoga. It was awesome!!! I am so proud of myself (except for the part when I ate JBX...) BUT STILL. I'm happy about myself. :D

Besides that, things are good. Work is quickly diminishing into the back of my mind as I make room for my working out goals. I'm scared for our financial responsibilities, but I know things will turn out okay. They always do. :)

Well back to my chill night. Oh and the snail died and apparently the fish are carnivores. Or just really hungry. lol

Loki and Houdini to the Rescue

2009-04-13T12:11:00.003-07:00

Sam and I went out for Japanese last night. We were initially going for Chinese, but ultimately, Japanese won. I mean, what can I say? We're going to be there in a few months...might as well get used to it now! Haha...

Well at our dinner last night, Sam was telling me how the whole deal with the cats was not as stressful as we were making it out to be. Apparently the quarantine the cats have to be in for three months can be our house if we are living on base, which we are, and that because of them we are getting a HOUSE not an apartment in some towers. So the cats are actually doing us a favor. How about that? We were freaking out over nothing! All the worry about having to get rid of them, of the cats being miserable in quarantine, of not having the paperwork done in time, was for nothing! And I am so glad!

I have been contemplating our life and how fast its going and this AMAZING opportunity we have been given and all I can do is smile.

Yay.

Happy Easter. Eat bunnies.

2009-04-12T12:15:00.003-07:00

I only work on day this week for 4 hours. Wow. They love me down at Ross! Haha...actually I think it was because I told them that I was leaving and that I was turning in my two weeks notice soon. Just because I'm leaving doesn't mean reduce my hours, but there are new people there and I guess they need the hours to learn the job and whatnot. They are going to stay, not me. Yeah so I'm a little hurt, a little worried about my side of the bills, but truthfully this is what I wanted. Right?

Today is Easter and Sam and I didn't go to church. Nor do I know any little kids (here) that I can do an Easter egg hunt with. So no eggs or candy for me.

I'm watching CMT cribs and Gretchen Wilson kindly reminded me why I wanted to be free the month of May. So I can work out! And since I'm only working one day this week, why don't I just start now. Tomorrow, in fact. Sounds good to me! I am SO READY to be skinny! Haha...especially since Sam is completely fit and he looks at me and I can see he is kind of disgusted. I know I am! So yeah, I definitely have a goal to accomplish BEFORE Japan.

Today the only thing I planned was some chinese food. Sam is out unsuccesfully finding a hair cut place that is open and GOOD. He wants me to learn how to cut hair and I really think that would be useful. I'm sure I could do it too.

I think I want to work on some math homework today...and clean the kitchen!

Time flies

2009-04-11T14:03:00.002-07:00

Things have been going good. My sister, Anthony, Elizabeth, and Alex left this morning on their way back home. They had been visiting since Thursday. I have work later tonight and right now Sam and I are just chillaxin. He's watching his new favorite show, Rescue Me, and I'm just watching cartoons.

I was looking at the calendar and I didn't realize that this Friday I am turning in my two weeks notice. Time is just flying by!!! It is sooo scary and sooo exciting at the same time. What am I going to do with myself?!

School is going okay, I think. So far I'm not failing anything, but I'm not too sure I'm getting an A in any of my classes.

Sam is probably going to be sent to Florida for the whole month of May and some of this month for this school thing he wants to do. I hate that I am going to be left alone, but I suppose I'll manage. Maybe drive to Cali to visit my sister. I don't know....

Well things are changing VERY quickly, but I welcome it.

La la laaa

2009-04-07T00:24:00.003-07:00

Just up and doing random stuff. Watching TV. Should be asleep soon. I will be. Yep.

Life changes

2009-03-30T13:50:00.003-07:00

I hate it when reality decides to step into my perfect little world and bring doubt and fear into what I have deemed safe.

I dont want things to change. Again. I like the way they are now, and the blissful happiness from yesterday seems so far away. Choices were made and fates were put into motion before Sam and I even had a chance to look up. And now I'm sitting here with my stomach twisted in knots, my lover asleep for what seems too calm a slumber.

Maybe he's just taking it like a man. He screwed up and deserves the consequences. But I don't know how I am going to handle those consequences. Things were so perfect...it was too good to be true.

She's almost gone as well. Not only has she not learned anything from this time, but I think has made things worse. I want to smack her upside the head and tell her to grow up, but unfortunately its not in my place to do that. It doesn't work. She has to do it on her own. All I can do is sit back and grind my teeth and just seethe my anger away quietly. I'm done with her. She is too stupid for my patience.

I sound mean. I sound rude. But truly, I dont care.

Life is changing again..Sigh...And this time its on bad circumstances. I almost want to cry, but I'm not sure if I've over-reacting or not. I'll find out soon, though.

Crazy Coincidences

2009-03-24T12:33:00.002-07:00

I had a crazy dream last night...I remember some of it, but not really. It was just too random. Anywho...Sam is asleep right now. He probably wont be up until later...Stupid night shift.

Luckily, today I have the day off even though work is trying to get me to come in. Umm nooo I don't think so. Don't think so at all. Today I want to read, go through some of our stuff, and try to finish Alex's blanket. I so need to do that before we go!

On some funny news, my sister calls me yesterday while I'm doing homework. This is the conversation more or less:

Me: Hey Chinis, what's up?
My sis: Hey, so guess who my baby sitter is?
Me: *silent*
My sis: Tina. Or Christina.
Me: Who?
My sis: McCarthy.
Me: McCarthy?
My sis: Yeah Tina McCarthy.
Me: Wait, is she blond?
My sis: Yes.
Me: Short and skinny?
My sis: Yeah.
Me: Oh yeah, I know her.
My sis: Yeah you were at hilltop together.
Me: Oh yeah I remember. Well that's cool.
My sis: Here let pass you to her.
*Momentary silence*
Tina: Hello?
Me: Hello?
Tina: Hey what's up?
Me: Hey, so you're my sister's new baby sitter?
Tina: Yeah. When I saw your sister I was like, wow, she looks a lot like Dora, and then I started looking at the pictures.
Me: Aww so you're going to watch my neice and nephew?
Tina: Yeah, Elizabeth is sitting next to me eating.
Me: Awww. Wait so you are the person my sister found online?
Tina: *kind of laughs* Yeah that's me.
Me: Well this is crazy.
Tina: Yeah. Well let me pass the phone off again.
Me: Okay
Tiny: Bye
Me: Bye
*passes phone*

Well to sum that last part off my sister was just saying she would call me later cuz she was going to talk to my dad. It seems like a long conversation but it wasn't. It was actually kind of crazy and coincidental. Okay, well back to my book....

So give me something new

2009-03-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

So give me something new Something to break through the normal The things I have to do To keep myself from falling out of view

-Something New by The Black Ghosts

Today both Sam and I were off. It was great spending the day together. We cleaned, did some shopping, went out to eat, hung out with the Langs, and did homework together. It was a very good day.
:)
Unfortunately Sam starts night shift tomorrow. I told him I probably wont see him again any time soon. Haha...that sucks, but its true. I'm still on the day shift, I guess. So yeah, when he gets up I'll be going to sleep and when I get up he's going to be going to sleep. But luckily Japan gets closer and closer so things wont be like this for long.

Tiffany is also leaving on Saturday. She spent the last two days hanging out with one of the new marines at PMO and its been a nice breath of fresh air to not have her in the house or having to be driving her around. I didn't realize I missed the privacy so much.

Well I've already checked out of work. Instead of senioritis I have workoritis. Its like I'm there but because I am being forced to. I asked Sam when I could put my two weeks notice in and he said May. Sigh...I don't think I can make it that long.

Anywho, I guess I'm back to whatever I was doing. Ammon was nice enough to fix my computer and I am so happy to have it back. I missed it so much!

Its been a long long long long long...day

2009-03-19T00:17:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning at 7am to see my sister off. She left around 8am so she could be back home to pick up Eli from school so I was up early to see her off. Things have been really shitty with her. To quote her, "Its like I'm in a horror movie," except its her life and she just cant ignore it. Sigh... I hope they are going to be okay. I think I mentioned what was going on in the last blog.

Well I was going to get back to sleep, but instead I stayed up. Around 10:30a, I met Sam at dental and I got some x-rays done and a check up. It was the best check up I have ever had. Not only did I have NO caveties, but apparently I may not have to get a route canal after all. Although it sucked being there so early and its was so cold in there, it was all worth it to hear those wonderful things.

Well afterwards I came home for about an hour and then took off to school. Towards the end class was quickly becoming unbearbly boring. I was falling asleep! But I guess that was just my sleepyness. Luckily I survived. I had to get gas and then I stopped by the liquor store to get something to drink (an energy drink actually) which only left me enough time to get home, change, and run out again. I dropped Sam's drink off at PMO, and went straight to pets mart where I returned the spoiled guinea baby treats I had gotten yesterday.

Then work. Which was a bitch. And I also had to deal with a bitch. That complained saying I was rude but she was just a dumb ass. Unfortunately I apologized to the freaking child AKA the woman. But it made work all the harder for a second there. Sigh.

I am just so tired. And not just sleepy tired, either. Tomorrow I have a vet appointment I need to take the cats on...jesus I need some sleep!

Still sleepy...

2009-03-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

I got up this morning to say bye to my sis on her way back to San Diego. She came yesterday after she and Anthony had a fight. His lies just made everything worse and I have no idea what she should do. I don't even know how to feel...they are the closest thing I have to parents and I suppose their troubles hurt just about the same. Although now that I am an adult I can comprehend everything they are going through, its still difficult to grasp.

Well besides that, today I have school and work. I called out of work yesterday, the third time I've ever done that. I had homework to do and I just wanted to hang out with Chinita a little bit. I'm moving anyway, so whatever. The only thing that bothers me is that they are probably think I called out so I could go drinking cuz yesteday was St. Patrick's Day. I had completely forgotten about it until Chinita punched me in the arm for not wearing green. Haha...

Yeah so I think I'm going to go try to get a bit more sleep. If not I can always watch TV.

Oh and the Langs had their baby!

Going to Japan

2009-03-15T16:43:00.001-07:00

I think I have finally exhausted the subject enough to not actually want to talk about it anymore, and instead I just want to start doing all the things that I need to get done.

Japan is less than 3 months away. This month is half way over...then there is April, May, and June, the latter of which will be spent getting the last few things done...furniture packed...etc... Then July. July is the month we get on a plane and leave the United States for three years.

I am still in the excitement stage but I really do not know what to expect. I am trying to learn as much as I can before we go so when we get there I'm not all dee dee dee. Haha...ah, I like my lamens terms.

I'm going to miss family...miss REAL mexican food...and general US stuff, but then again I would be doing new things and exploring a whole culture I never really knew anything about. Yay.

Plus Okinawa looks beautiful and I am dying to live by a beach again. I just need to loose weight so I can fit in the clothes over there...haha.

OMG...this is really a trip of a lifetime. Life is crazy sometimes.

Its late...

2009-03-10T00:02:00.000-07:00

...and the keyboard is kind of sticky. Work was whatever today, just like usual. What kind of irked me though was I had stuff on hold from yesterday and they put it away. WTF? I mean I found some other shirts I got (mostly pink) but I really wanted this one shirt I had put away. I know I'm not going to find it tomorrow because this one girl had it when she came up to the register (my size and everything). So yeah. WTF?

Everyone is pretty much asleep already. I should be asleep soon too...I have to get up and take TIffany to work anyway...I'm excited, though, cuz I'm getting a mani and pedi tomorrow. Hey, its for my birthday so don't even try to guilt trip me. (Haha, who am I talking to?)

But anyway, yeah I just need to go to bed....night!

Forever And A Day

2009-03-08T10:16:00.000-07:00

That's how long I haven't written in my blog.

Life has been so busy lately, I haven't had the time to just sit and do things I want to do. Wait, that's a lie...cuz I've been finding time to read this new book I just got, so let me backtrack and just say, I haven't been on in forever. That's not a lie.

Well I turn 21 in 6 days. I'm surprised its coming so fast. With all that "responsibility" crap that I'm so prone to nowadays, I haven't felt any of the last 8 days I've been counting down. Time is really flying by and its almost scary. Like someone hit the fast foward button. I wonder how to hit pause???

Its the same with school. I was thinking about it, and your AA should only be the whole two years at a college, right? So shouldn't I be getting at the end of this school semester?? I got on the Dean's List last semester! I tiny accomplishment that I'm really proud about. But I'm going to look into it and see if I am really graduating or not. Because that is just another exciting thing that is coming up at the speed of light.

Besides what's actually happening, I've had a few revelations about myself. 1) I'm definitely more responsible now than I've ever been and I feel like I have finally reached that maturity I should have reached a long time ago. Something in me didn't want to let go of the child in me, but now I see that child, and I think "How childish," haha... But how I came up with this revelation about myself is that they scheduled me to work on my birthday. The little kid immediately started protesting and I started looking for coworkers who were off and saying that I was going to call out. But as I started mulling it over, I realized I would feel much better if I went, regardless of my birthday or not. And bam, I realized I was an adult. Stupid responsibility...

2) I realized I'm a lot less sensitive than I used to be. But this is only in specific cases. For example, with Kiri, I would pretty much try to do things for her if I can, and feel good as I do them (like I don't want anything in return). But then I look at Tiffany and...I can't explain it. She's family, yet, I almost don't care. I mean I care enough to chit chat and take her to work and whatnot, but not really for me. Its actually more for Sam. So while I see myself being mean and thinking just mean things, I feel almost sorry that I am. But I don't know how to bridge that gap between just being there and caring. Sigh... I really don't want to be that way but... uh its just difficult to fix. Cuz I don't want to care but at the same time I do.

So yeah, things have been a-changing in my world. I think they are for the best, because I generally accept change into open arms, and not only that, but I've really stepped up to the plate, so to speak, and I think Sam sees it and appreciates it. I'm maturing! Haha...Oh goodness...

Where's Momo?

2009-02-24T00:15:00.000-07:00

Apparently Momo is MIA cuz Loki is being really needy and crazy. But what can you do when your comfy pillow is gone??? (See picture on right).

Anywho, work today was a biznitch. The store assistant manager (haha, I HAD to be all specific) keeps asking me if I want more hours (cuz apparently I'm one of the best employees there ALTHOUGH I think he's just saying that so he can put me to work more) and I don't mind the more hours but at the same time I do. I almost dont want to say NO because I'm afraid they will cut them down TOO much when I like it just the way it is now. SIGH...Things are complicated.

But on the bright side, Ross gave me 10 bucks to spend at their stores for FREE. Yup, cuz we're one of the districts going to uniforms while the others dont. Yay money!

On a sad note, Sam and I aren't going to Las Vegas for my birthday. One, we barely have the money to go, and two, Sam has to work on my birthday. (Nice huh) So yeah...I compromised by saying I was going to TOWN on St. Patrick's Day. Hell ya!

Well I guess I have more stuff to post, but right now I'm just too tired to give a shit. OH but to leave this post with good news, I almost have my tattoo figured out. Exciting!

What a long day!

2009-02-20T17:06:00.001-07:00

And its only 5pm...sigh. I've been up since 7am. Sam and I spent almost 2 1/2 hours doing taxes and then another 45 minutes at his work so he could finish some things he had to do. Then we went to both of the swap meets here and picked up my pay check from Ross. Its been a long day...

I was going to work on my homework test for oceanography, but apparently I was too late because the link was there this morning, and now its gone. There goes my A+. Hah...

But I have other oceanography to do...and French I think. Yeah, I do have French. (I almost freaked out because I thought I forgot it)

Its been hella stressful with Tiffany here just because I am the one that has been driving her to and from work. That means I haven't slept-in in forever and that I have to unfortunately travel the streets of Yuma when I would rather be home. Apparently she's too scared to ride the bus. Yeah, fuck that. But whatever.

My computer has been on the fritz also. I think it has a virus...or else its finally dying. Whatever it is, I don't like it. Well back to my homework I guess...and taking a nap! Yay.

The Day After V-Day

2009-02-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday wasn't that special. Sam and I both had to work so it was like "whatever."

Anywho, today I work as well, but I just finished my music homework (awesome!) and I want to work on some of my math with the little time I have between getting a shower and having to leave for work.

Actually, this week I am only scheduled to work today, Tuesday, and Thursday. Crazy huh? Of course I expect to be called in, but if I don't, well I guess that's fine too. I'm good either way. I think I have less hours cuz they hired new people, so yeah. Oh I don't know if I mentioned it, but Tiffany got hired as a pet groomer at Pets Mart and she starts Tuesday. I was excited for her but we all pretty much think the store manager (who is a woman) hired her because she liked her (as in a lesbo way haha).

Well I gotta go get in the shower...ttfn.

Best Friday the 13th Ever

2009-02-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

Today didn't start off very well. First of all, Tiffany started her "days" and to my dismay, I was the one that had to take her to the store at 8:30 in the morning because Sam was headed off to work and Tiffany can't buy anything on base without a military ID. So yeah, that sucked...

But after that the day went okay. Tiffany and I went to go see Sam's graduation from cpl's course, then we went to Buffalo Wild Wings, I went to work, and afterwards Tiffany and I started drinking alcomohol while playing monopoly (Sam was a bum and didn't want to play with us).

So pretty much the day was okay. Oh and did I mention that Sam and I exchanged Valentine's day presents just a little while ago? And that he got me the most awesome, most expensive necklace I've ever wanted? And that I am completely amazed, happy, in love, and breathtaken all at the same time? Cuz if I didn't, that's what happened.

And all I can keep thinking is, "OMG I found a good one (guy). I really did. And I wouldn't change anything for the WORLD."

I hope he liked the gifts I gave him, but I really dont feel like they measure up...haha...

Same 'ol Same 'ol

2009-02-12T22:14:00.000-07:00

Finally have a day off and they have the audacity to call me in today. I didn't answer and I didn't call them back, so obviously I wasn't happy about it.

Not that I've been working like a slave AT WORK. I've been working like a slave in EVERYTHING not just work, so yeah. Needed today and I'm happy to have fully had it.

So I am ready to go to bed, but I am waiting for Sam to show the green light. Kiri and Ammon are over, and Kiri, me, and Tiffany had a very exciting game of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Woo good won! Haha...

Besides another eventful day which included an oil change for the car, going on a wild goose chase at the hospital, and reading about haunted vaginas, its been the same 'ol same 'ol.

Haha.

Life=stress

2009-02-11T11:19:00.000-07:00

Life has been super busy and stressed lately. Work...school...other errands...sheesh! I have time for nothing! Luckily I get a break from it all tomorrow.

Today: School= test

work= stress and hardly any sleep + no time with the hubby

Wanted to go out this friday, but we have no money...wanted to go out for valentines day, but I am working ALL DAY. Sigh....

Hope I'm wrong

2009-02-08T22:38:00.000-07:00

Today was Sam's sister's full first day in Yuma and I guess it went better than expected. I don't know exactly how to describe how things are going now except to say that they are going. At this point I don't really know what to expect or even hope for. Right now I'm just sitting back and letting the things come as they may.

What I'm most curious about are my own reactions and I still haven't gauged them properly. Sometimes I'm blissfully happy, other times I'm annoyed and very aware. Its my stupid natural sympathy that makes me so wishy washy. Hopefully my emotions settle down soon.

With that, life starts all over again tomorrow and I don't know how its going to go with me doing school and work, Sam doing work, and us only having one car. I hope Tiffany likes to walk! Also it doesn't help she doesn't have a phone, so including how she annoyingly always using Sam's, its going to be hard to let her know what's up and let us know what she wants.

Only time will tell.

Right now I'm just ready to get to bed. I kinda wish tomorrow didn't have to come....I told Sam we weren't ready for this...I hope I was wrong.

Day off!

2009-02-06T09:30:00.000-07:00

Don't know what my old people rant was about last night... but eh, I probably needed to get that out anyway. Haha...

So I have high hopes for today which include cleaning, laundry, tamales, and going out with the hubby. Yay!

Loving my day off!

<3

OH BTW, there are three Friday the 13ths this year!!!

Another Old People Rant

2009-02-05T23:18:00.000-07:00

So why does every old person in the WORLD have to come to Yuma for the winter? Yes, I understand the whole weather part and I suppose "small city" thing, but WHY? WHY?

And its not even old people as individuals that I have a problem with. Its old people in general. Why do they have to be on the road, going 10 under the speed limit and sometimes swerving? Why do they have to be at WalMart all the freaking hours of the morning and afternoon, going super slow with their carts, picking up face cream for their wives and talking loudly and ANNOYINGLY in the aisle?

Seriously, walk into any normal place around here during the day and I PROMISE you that you'd be one of the only ones there under 50.

And the funny part is that while they are all old and on medicare and whatnot, only a handful of them want to donate to the American Heart Association. Ummm, hello? What happenes when you have a heart attack? Oh no, probably should have helped out a little huh?

And it doesn't matter if you're from Canada or Mexico. You're here aren't you!? THEN???

I don't know...the old people...around this time they just get to me. But mostly on the road. C'mon seriously! I know they have posted speed limits for a REASON.

Okay, so back to bed...instead of ranting about old people.

Damnit! I'm going to be old someday! Ugh...

We will become silhouettes

2009-02-03T11:52:00.000-07:00

So I realized today that the reason why I suddenly up and ditch a job is not because of my inability to do the job or a silly naive wish to be free, but it is actually something more. I realized that it is because in those instances, in that one moment when I finally decide that I will no longer show up at work, that is when I decide there is something more that I want.

There is nothing wrong with the job. There, in fact, is nothing wrong with me (which I didn't believe until now) but instead there is something within me that I had not noticed fully until now. I've always known what I wanted, but I did not realize that what I wanted was what was making me unhappy.

To get to the simple point: I do not want work to be the center of my life. I want school to be. I want the long term to be the center, not the "just for now" mentality.

I realized that it wasn't the job itself that was making me unhappy. It was the being there everyday, devoting time and energy that I have to sacrifice from other aspects of my life. It was the "just for now" mentality that was getting to me. I do not want work to be the center of my life. I do not want the day to day to be what I am working for.

I want school to be the center of my life. The forever, the long term. And that is why I would leave my jobs with no explanation to myself or anyone else for that matter.

Its interesting that now I've come to see that, and partly it is because I see that work is becoming the center of my life, and that is not what I want. I do not want my job to be the aspect that recieves all my attention and devotion. I wish I could stop it somehow, but there are several factors that keep me from up and ditching like I have before.

The first factor is that the money is great. Really, it is. Sam and I were having troubles before, but although we still have troubles now, we can breathe easier and overcome those troubles much faster. The second is the economy. With things going down, I am lucky to have a job, let alone more hours. And the third factor is my own short term goals that I cannot ignore like I have before.

So I suppose what is needed here is a little more maturity from me, and a rearranging of priorities, not only with respect to my goals, but also with respect to consequences, achievements, and basically time and energy.
'
School is still number 1 in my book. But I suppose work is number 1 also, but not exactly by choice. I just have to find an equilibrium and I hope I find it soon.

Groundhog Day

2009-02-02T15:47:00.000-07:00

It was refreshing to be in class today. I was away from the stress of having to deal with other people and I was really doing something just for myself. No one told me to be there. No one was there to make me or to hold anything against me except for my own goals. True, I have goals for work, but they are more short term and always varying. School is one goal and not for just right now, but forever. Forever.

I'm just hanging out until I have to go to work. I wanted to sit outside and tan but the sun isn't in the backyard anymore and I don't want to sit in the front yard. I really don't want to go to work but I kept telling myself one motivating thing: Vegas.

That has been my one goal in mind since I thought of it. For my 21st I want to be partying it up in Vegas, getting into the places that I never knew about.

I am totally excited and I really hope Sam and I can go. My sister wants to join us too, which although is unexpected, I really wouldn't mind.

I want ice cream...

Dang I have an hour to do nothing...and Groundhog day just came on. I've seen it before but heck, lets watch it again. Humm...I wonder what I would do if the same day kept starting over and over?... For now I'll just watch Bill Murray do it.

Super Bowl Sunday

2009-02-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

I work today until 5:30pm. Sam just made me breakfast and I'm going to go get in the shower in a second. Well as fast as I can eat my toast anyway...haha.

Kay now officially done with my toast. lol...

Man I am hella tired...but back to work! Cuz I want to go to Vegas...so yeah. TTFN!

Blue Moon

2009-01-29T12:09:00.000-07:00

Had another trippy dream last night. Besides other random stuff I remember the moon changing colors and being really sleepy. Hah.

Anywho, I so could have slept another few hours but I heard Sam's voice coming from downstairs so I got up. The car is still at the dealership and the guy hasn't called me yet. Hopefully he calls me soon but not too soon (I want to be lazy for a while...haha).

Well Saturday the 7th Sam's sister should be here. She's officially coming and I am just hoping that Sam and I haven't gotten in over our head. Hah.

Today I pretty much need to do homework and clean up the house. Its gross in here...

Trista Pena

2009-01-28T11:54:00.000-07:00

So Sam got the key stuck in the ignition of the car yesterday and this morning I had to get up at the crack of dawn and drop the car off at the dealership. Unfortunately I had to drag Kiri with me and I was just glad that I had a ride back home.
Now I'm pretty much just doing laundry and trying to music on my phone.

I think this is one of those first days that I have been OFFICIALLY stuck at the house with no transportation. It feels weird but strangely relaxing.

Now I just have to find stuff to do. Maybe homework...hopefully I dont miss class today but I'm sure I will.

Anywho back to the day!

Chillax

2009-01-27T13:16:00.000-07:00

I finally have a day off from school and work. It feels nice.

I don't know what to do with myself, but I'm sure I'll find something to occupy my mind. I know the house needs some love, I have homework to do, and the animals could always use some attention. So I'm not really worrying about it.

BUT what I am worried about is that Sam texted me that the key wont come out of the ignition in the car and that is definitely not good. I may have to go get it fixed...

On that note, I'm going to text Kiri and see what she is up to. Maybe she'd want to walk with me to go get the car...but anywho I want to go get in the shower and try to fix my hair up cute. I cut it yesterday.

TTFN!

Buy me something nice

2009-01-26T11:04:00.000-07:00

I've been super stressed lately.
I worked 8 hours on Friday and Saturday, and 9 hours yesterday. Its not the work that is getting to me, its actually the lack of energy I have at home and the lack of time I have to do things that is getting to me. In economic times like these, I am grateful that I am able to even have a job, be able to keep it, and not only that but get more hours. Its wonderful and very lucky.

BUT that doesn't mean I'm super woman. So yeah, I've been getting stressed lately. On top of having to take care of all the animals (which Sam is very good at when he's off, but when he's working its all on me cuz he comes home just as tired) we are actually going to have a new house guest soon.

Sam's sister is coming to live with us for a while, to get her life together and basically a new start away from the problems she was having back home. I don't mind opening our door to others, but we just got Kenny out, and now that I'm working, I don't know how its going to go with me stressing about the normal stuff ONTOP of his sister stuff. I doubt me and Sam are ready for a much bigger commitment with his sister than we had with Kenny, but I suppose I spoke up to late and the ball is already in motion.

I honestly do not mind, but I have my worries. I just dont want shit to hit the fan is all.

So life has been pretty rough...but with me working so much I feel like I am worthy of buying myself something nice, so that's what I'm going to do today after school (and before work).

The Guinea Babies Have Arrived

2009-01-15T11:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we brought three guinea pig babies home with us from the pet store. Sam suckered me into getting them because 1) I'm a sucker for baby animals and 2)Guinea Pigs are my favorite animal. So yeah, now we have MORE animals in the house!

And now Sam thinks its okay to get his rats...sigh.

ANYWHO, things are going good. Class, work, life. Same 'ol same 'ol. Gotta go get in the shower.

Fry day

2009-01-09T15:46:00.000-07:00

School starts on Monday and I'm excited. These are the classes I'm taking:

Math 262, Ordinary Differential Equations- on campus
French 101, first year french- online
Music 120, music appreciation- online
Ocn 110, oceanography- online

which culminate to a total of 14 credits this semester. Sheesh! I'm taking random ass classes, but I'm happy.

Actually I'm just happy in general.

Well today is suppose to be Sam's day off, but he's pretty much been at work since 7am. Sigh...hopefully we get to do something together tonight.

Happy friday ya'll....yumm, fries sound good right now.

I am addicted...

2009-01-08T12:22:00.000-07:00

...to the song Full Moon by The Black Ghosts. I seriously cant stop listening to it! Sigh.

Well I'm wasting time...I should be getting in the shower and then getting dressed and stuff, so me and Kiri can walk to PMO to pick up the car and then go by school so I can get my financial aid check. (Dang that was a long, information filled sentence).

So I guess I'll get to doing all that hooplah.

A few things

2009-01-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

The new year has been going pretty good so far. :D

Last Saturday night Sam and I had a bike ride that led me through darkness in the middle-of-nowhere-Yuma (where I thought I was going to get bufu'd), lots of dirt (Yuma doesn't believe in paved sidewalks!), and two blown out tires (one mine, one Sam's). Plus not to mention it was a long ass way! All in all, it SUCKED, but it was fun.

Then Sunday was our TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY. Sam made me breakfast (in bed until I got up and went downstairs...haha), we both went to the swap meet to just walk around and try stuff, then we went to applebee's, and finally we went to go see Twilight on base (Sam liked it to my surprise). The night ended with Sam and I going to bed early and then with me waking up to go throw up. It was a magical night (notice the sarcasm?). Haha, but really it was a good day except for the throwing up part. And Sam and I are still very much in love. (Awww!)

Monday I was scheduled to work, but I called out because I felt horrible due to the throwing up the night before. I pretty much did nothing and read Twilight again.

Tuesday (yesterday) I had work (that I actually went to, lol) and pretty much that. I am not scheduled until Saturday but I have to go today because I need to see if 1)they are keeping me, and if so 2)how to change my availability.

Why do I need to change my availability, you ask? Because SCHOOL STARTS ON MONDAY! Woo I'm excited to be going back. OH! I need to go get paper! And some other misc. school stuff.

Anywho so yeah, life is good. I'm happy, in love, and busy. Luckily I get to keep my job too...

So I'm off to probably walk to Sam's work so I can get the car... (yeah this base is TINY!). Laters!

Happy New Year

2009-01-02T11:45:00.000-07:00

So things have been going good so far. New Years was lame-o cuz Sam didn't even stay up late because he had to work the next day, and I was up by myself but I went to sleep as soon as midnight hit. So yeah...but besides that things are good.

I think work at Ross is going good also and hopefully *cross your fingers* they give me a permanent position. I turned down the temporary position at the bookstore on campus because I don't think I'll have the flexibility to do it. I hope that was a good decision...

Our anniversary is this Sunday...two years baby! I haven't got Sam anything but I think I may go out today before work. Eeekkk hopefully we both have time on Sunday to go do something together. :)

Alright so back to my day. I have to dye my hair again (I missed some spots) haha...toodles!

The Holidays

2008-12-22T12:50:00.000-07:00

So my sister had baby Alex! Me and Sam are taking off tomorrow afternoon to go see the new little addition to the family, not to mention to help my sister with Elizabeth and to see my family for christmas.

Work has been going like normal except that last night I had a killer headache and they had me stay until 1am, so I just wanted to die when I got off work. Today I am there until midnight, but I'm going to make sure to take lots of advil with me. Oh I found a dollar yesterday too! It was exciting.

So things are going good so far. The holidays seem to be taking their time and that's okay with me! :D

Next, is new years. Humm...I need some resolutions! Alright back to my tv!

Finally Liberated

2008-12-12T12:37:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with a different feeling than usual. I didn't know what it was until I made it downstairs and saw the living room littered with text books and papers. Then it hit me: school is over. Last night I had officially finished my last piece of school work for the semester. I made it! And not only that, but it feels so GOOD to not have anything to do. I feel like I can actually breathe. Not that I hated school, but sometimes you just need a breather even if its from something good.

Also I have no work today, and although I am half expecting to get called in, it feels nice to have a completely free day to do whatever.

I'm feeling a lot better. Still dosing myself with my favorite quils, but definitely better. I wish I hadn't gotten sick cuz it totally SUCKS. But whatever, I dont get sick often, so its cool.

On other news, I hate to admit it, but I've been addicted to Britney Spears' new CD. Yep...I don't know what's up with me, but I love how all her music makes you want to dance. I think even Sam looked at me questioningly yesterday when he heard me listening to her. Haha. But whatever, my soul wants what it wants. lol.

I'm excited to have time to read my book and to work on Alex's blanket. Besides work, I have all the time in the world now. Okay, maybe not ALL the time in the world, but still a lot of it. I was just cleaning the house a bit and now I need to go get in the shower. I didn't take one yesterday because I wanted to curl my hair, but unfortunately now I reek. lol.

Alright so I'll get to my worry-less day.

Yay.

I Love Good Mornings

2008-12-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

I'm watching I Love Lucy and slowly waking up. I have errands to run for Sam which, luckily, I feel well enough to do today. I woke up to Sam grinding coffee grounds in the coffee grinder (umm duh?). Well anywho, I was surprised to see him this morning because of his class that keeps him from home, but he had 20 minutes to get some food and get refreshed. I made him some eggs, coffee, and saw him go.
Now I'm just watching TV until I feel like going to go do those errands I mentioned earlier. I also have a research paper to do today. Well at least finish. Tomorrow I have work and from there, who knows. Well good morning cyber space!

I hate being sick

2008-12-10T21:43:00.000-07:00

So I've been crappy these past two days. Tuesday I got home from work and I felt horrible. Yesterday was even worse and today I even called out from work because I knew I wasn't going to make it.

Well to make matters worse I took my tongue ring out to clean it and to my greatest delight it closed up on me. (If you couldn't already tell I was being sarcastic) I am so pissed that the freaking thing did that. I mean I didn't even have it out for long! And I went through all that freaking pain for nothing. Not to mention that I was getting attached to it? Sigh. Oh well...maybe now that I'm working I'll have the money to go get it done again. SOB! BAH! Man I'm angry.

OKAY, changing the subject, finals are pretty much over except that I have my last research paper for English due tomorrow. Besides that, school is officially over for now. I passed all my classes, which I'm thankful for. I kinda wish I had a better grade in my math class, but I guess it all depends on how I did on my final which *cross your fingers* was good.

Anywho,Vicky already left for Texas which makes me sad that she's gone, but I guess happy that she's with her family and back home. But I do miss our late night walks and the random hot chocolate and cooking debacles we'd get into. Oh well... Kenny also moved out with his girlfriend, so the house is a lot more empty than usual. Plus Sam's martial arts class is on the day schedule, but he's so tired when he gets home that all he does is eat and sleep. He has weekends off, but that's when I'm usually working those 8 hour days.

I guess things are changing again...just in time for the holidays too. In other news my sister should be having Alex any day in the next two weeks, so that's exciting. I suppose change isn't a bad thing...

Welcome to my dreamland

2008-12-05T09:10:00.000-07:00

I had a weird dream last night.

In it, I had gone to wal-mart (I say wal-mart but it didn't really look like wal-mart) to buy something ( I cant remember what) but that came out to be around $7 dollars. Well when I was at checkout, the lady was having a hard time using my giftcard, so she let someone else go in front of me. Well, apparently when the other person went in front of me, it charge ME with their purchases and mine which I didn't notice as the lady got the gift card working. Then as I was walking out I noticed my recieipt said $500 dollars in the total.

I freaked out and went back into wal-mart to get it fixed. So somehow I ended up in a different department and I found a sales associate (who happened to be *drumroll* Morgan!) who was going to show me who to talk to and get my whole thing fixed. Well somehow on the way there I fainted (???) and then out of nowhere, our friend Nathan showed up and picked me up to take me where I needed to go.

Well I end up in what looks like a boardroom with people everywhere. I can't really remember what happened there, but I think it gets fixed because the next day, I go back to wal-mart with Sam. But when we get there I remember what happened the previous day, and it seems so outrageous to me that I tell Sam it was a dream. Well we go in and somehow I run into all the people I met the day before, who are all asking if everything had been figured out okay. I realized that it wasn't a dream, and then suddenly we are all hanging out, the wal-mart employees (aka, some of our real life friends) and us.

Dude, you know what I just realized? Sam didn't look like Sam. He looked different. Hahaha, don't tell Sam that!

Anywho, we are hanging out and playing these weird games, when my dream changes and I'm at this house which is haunted. I start going up this one staircase and at the top is a door with a light underneath it (the ghost). Well I freak out and suddenly there is another girl with me on the staircase, who I'm telling that I'm scared. She tells me not to be scared and then she shows me that she's a ghost too as she's walking away. (Creepy!)

Okay, from there my dream changes again, and this time I'm walking with Sam, pushing a cart I think, and he's telling me how he's going to go to a concert with this one friend of his who happens to be a girl. I blow up and start yelling at him for not inviting me and thinking that it was okay that he go do this. Also, I find out that he stuck my phone to the refrigerator with a magnet and I start yelling at him for doing that.

Well that's where the dream ends.

It was interesting...but I'm just glad I could remember it this time. I usually have crazy dreams all the time, but it is hard for me to remember them. Okay, so I'm off to make some breakfast. (I'm hungry!)

Holiday Decorating

2008-12-02T20:29:00.000-07:00

My holiday decorations are officially up. Lights, tree, stockings, everything. All by myself too, because Sam has been doing his crazy martial arts class at work and he's been half dead every day he's come home. But that's okay because he approves of my decorations. Yay.

Well on more news, I got a job today. Yep! A seasonal position at Ross. Yay Christmas presents for cheap! Well its not that great of a job, but right now I'm so desperate that a crappy job is better than no job at all. So I'm happy. :D

School is almost over too...have finals review this week and finals next week. Plus I get to go to Sam's class too because he's not able to go and take the notes he needs for the final. Yay me. Not really. But yeah, I guess I'll do that for him cuz like I love him, I guess. Haha...

Also Vicky is leaving this Friday and I haven't seen her since Sunday. I'm a little worried that there isn't going to be enough for us to hang out and chill for one last time. I'm sad to see her go, but I know she's happy to go see her family. Plus I doubt that will be the last time I'd see her.

On the topic of friends though, Nina has totally been MIA with only a random text here or there that I had to send. I told her to call me whenever she had time, but who knows what is going on with her. I guess she forgot we were best friends (I say "were" because right now I don't feel like best friends...I feel like more best friends with Vicky than Nina). But whatever her deal is, I hope she got my Christmas card.

Right now I feel groggy. Like I took a nap earlier that apparently, I didn't wake up completely from. I just remembered I need to fix the lights outside. I'll go do that...

Yay I have a job. I'm an employed woman!

Cold & Rainy

2008-11-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

So its a little chilly outside which I am totally and completely enjoying. Its fresh. Its cloudy. Its winter! Yay! I spent too long a summer seeing perfect days and suffering in 120 degree weather. Haha... I NEED THIS! :D
All I want to do now is go play in some snow. Really want to go tobogganing (dude, totally had to google how to spell that. I've never had a reason to spell that before...wait, I am getting a weird sense of deja vu. I'm in the Twilight zone! Oh yeah, on that note, I am almost finished with the last book in the Twilight series. I was thinking about reading it right now but I think I'm going to finish watching Thirteen Ghosts. Wow I think I've gone completely off track what I was talking about before...) and make a snow angel. Yay snow!

"I fly like paper, get high like planes..." oh sorry. Started singing....its MIA. Song called Paper Planes. Its a good song. I like to pretend I'm shooting the gun. :D

Okay well I'm going to go before I get ("and take your moneeyy") any more distracted.

Just another day...

2008-11-22T23:53:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I have not been feeling too good lately and I kinda want to blame it on my lack of exercise. Really, I mean I got weighed the last time I went to the doctor and I was 149lbs. WTF? I gained almost 10 lbs since the last time I went and that wasn't even that long ago. I am the saddest person alive...I need to loose about 30 lbs to be anywhere near to the healthy weight I should be. And seriously, what is keeping me back? Nothing. Just like nothing is keeping me back from getting a job, but that is lacking as well. Sigh.

But I think that if I start exercising I will be able to find that energy that I want (and need). Plus it wouldn't hurt too bad that I would be a BOMB SHELL if I did! Haha...oh gosh. Life life life. Why oh why was I born into my difficult life? But then again, some have it WAY worse and I'm just grateful I'm not in their positions. At least Sam and I are still able to get nice things and I'm still capable of looking good in a dress. Maybe I should just keep my greedy mouth shut. Hah.

Anywho, its just been another day. Nothing special or important to talk about. Wish Sam wasn't working this weekend though. I'm lonely. But it is his birthday next Friday, so he should have next weekend off. BTW, about his birthday, I have no idea what to get him especially since I don't have my own money. Sigh.

You know what I just remembered? Nina still owes me like $150 dollars. But of course I'm not going to say anything because she probably knows and I'm just too good of a friend to demand money from her. Sigh. One word of advice people: never do business with your friends. Because when they dont pay you it becomes akward and money can make things a mess. So don't do it!

Alright, so I'm going to go be lazy somewhere else. Its midnight...sigh. Didn't wash the bed sheets today like I wanted to. Maybe I'll read. Gosh, I need to loose weight. Sigh.

Don't feel too good

2008-11-21T18:45:00.000-07:00

Last night a group of us went to watch the midnight showing of Twilight. We were like an hour early and the three theaters they had opened for the same movie were all FILLED. So we ended up having to sit on the lower rows of seats (the one's real close to the screen). Well I liked the movie. Definitely stuck to the book, and even though there were some cheesy moments, I didn't really mind because I guess the book had some cheesy moments as well.

Anywho, yeah this morning I woke up with the biggest headache because my neck was just completely SORE. It sucked. And now my headache is back again! Lame-O!

Well this weekend Sam works and Kenny is visiting his daughter, so its basically just me, myself, and the cats this weekend. How sad, huh? Sam was on the phone this morning with AT&T and he convinced the guy to let us renew our contract early. SO we're going to have new phones overnighted to us and tomorrow my blackberry should be here. :)

And on that note, I need a job so badly, its not even funny anymore. I think I am going to take up Kenny's girlfriend's offer to get me a job at Texas Roadhouse. I almost don't care that its serving. I just want Sam and I to be okay! And to give me that security I need a job. I really don't want to do a restaurant again, but I don't know where else is going to be willing to hire me. Sigh. Right now I'm regretting some things.

Well I'm sending out christmas cards soon. I want to do those early because I know that if I wait too long, they wont ever go out (like what happened last year). Anywho, I don't know if I should work on homework or on Alex's blanket. I'll see how much my head hurts doing both and then I'll choose. Freaking headache.

Pandemonium in the Kitchen

2008-11-16T11:32:00.000-07:00

So Sam and I have had a very eventful morning.

It started with finding out Kenny's new little girlfriend was over. That was cool n'all except I didn't want to go downstairs all in my pj's and with bed head, so I asked Sam to bring me some water. Then we both just stayed in bed and watched the movie Stranger than Fiction.

I had to go to the bathroom while watching the movie, so I went to the bathroom only to find the door wide open, Kenny's Natalie sitting on the pot with Kenny hovering over her. Yep...that was event #1.

Well the movie finished and we came downstairs for breakfast. Sam heated me up some eggo toaster waffle things and I ground up some coffee with our new coffee grinder. Well everything was going pretty much normal until I went to go fill up the coffee maker with water. I guess I put too much because suddenly there was water coming out of everywhere on the coffee maker. That was event #2.

Okay so after cleaning up that mess, we put the coffee grinds in the coffee maker and walked into the living room. Well went to go open the front door to let some fresh air in, and I just happen to look over at the coffee maker only to see coffee leaking everywhere and a big mess of grounds on the counter. That was event #3.

So Sam and I scurry into the kitchen to take a hold of the mess before it gets any worse. Well in our haste to clean the mess, rinse out the towels, and put the clean dishes away so as to get the dirty dishes out of the sink, Sam drops a glass cup from the cabinet onto the counter top. Thus event #4.

We had to clean the mess of glass and wonder why the universe hated us. It was literally, an eventful morning today. And for the rest of the (hopefully) uneventful day, we are going to clean and do homework.

Feeling lazy

2008-11-15T15:58:00.000-07:00

I should be working on homework right now, but instead I'm looking through myspace and (obviously) posting a blog. Its warm and windy today. I kinda want to start tanning again...

My tongue is doing lots better. Being on pain relievers 24/7 and drinking millions of liquids has done some good. Oh yeah, I have some soup in the fridge...completely forgot!

Anywho today Sam and I are doing laundry and then later going grocery shopping. Its pretty much a nonchalant day.

Ewww I just noticed my nails...I either need to go get them filled or just take them off completely. I kinda want to do the latter, but they seem pretty stuck on there. I'll figure something out...

I really need to work on homework...and Alex's blanket. I think I'll do the latter of those too also and just watch TV. Yay for a plan! Maybe I'll feel like doing homework tomorrow...

I want a job!

When children disappoint you

2008-11-14T21:14:00.001-07:00

So this morning at around 5am I wake up to the sound of girls laughing and manly voices talking. I'm half asleep and wondering WTF is going on downstairs. Then I hear a familiar voice. Its Kenny. And then I make the logical conclusion: he has friends over.
I really don't mind him as a housemate. I mean he pretty much keeps things clean, he does his own things, and follows our one rule (no one night stands).
BUT that doesn't mean that he's not a drunk and that he doesn't do stupid things. So bringing random people to our house at 5am when I'm sleeping is not only rude but a little stupid. And then guess what he does? He has a girl sleep over that Sam and I didn't meet until this morning. So not only am I a little mad, but the next time that happens, its out for him. Or something close to it. He said he was going to stay with us 2 months tops. Its coming up on those 2 months. I don't hate him or nothing, but I don't like to be disrespected in my own house.

ANYWAY besides that, today I did two cool things.
1) I saw my brother in law for lunch who was passing by on his way to Tucson due to his job and
2) Had a job interview with Starbucks.

It was awesome to see my brother in law AKA my mom (lol) and I even managed to drag Sam with me (which is why he's out cold right now...). The interview went fine except that it was a group interview and the other three girls (I felt) were as qualified as me. I just hope the universe sees it in my favor to get the job.

I WANT THE JOB!!

Also we finally got collars for the cats and got a new water bowl for them. (We bought the same one, switched it with the old one, and returned it- Sam's idea!) Now all we need is new laptops...

Well Vicky is on her way over with lemon pie. I'm out!

I kinda got my tongue pierced...

2008-11-12T19:40:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was Veteran's day and not only that. Apparently it was also Dora-gets-her-tongue-pierced-day. Haha...yeah Sam and Kenny convinced me to do it last night. Kenny went in to get his nipples pierced and while he was there he was all like "Dora are you getting your tongue pierced? I'll pay for it." So at first I was like "Nooo!" but finally I was convinced. Now today I am sadly struggling to eat and luckily by Friday I can talk normally because I have a job interview with Starbucks. Hopefully I get the job because I hate struggling for money. I need a job!

Well tonight I gotta do some of my homework in math because tomorrow I have a quiz. I'm not feeling so good right now, so hopefully I feel better soon.

Should be asleep...

2008-11-05T00:20:00.000-07:00

I think I'm still up just so that I can torture myself some more. I've been so sleep deprived lately! I feel myself crashing midday because I didn't get enough sleep the night before. I mean last night I PASSED out so completely that I didn't even get up ONCE to use the bathroom.
But luckily I've been getting things done...

Tomorrow is the Marine Core Ball and Sam and I are totally going. I already found my dress like a few weeks ago, but it was just yesterday that I found my shoes, and today I spent all morning out and about. Productively I found the exact jewelry to wear, got my nails done, and got my eyebrows waxed (which felt so great BTW! I was getting werewolf eyebrows!)
Oh and tomorrow a friend of Vicky's is doing my hair.

So yeah, the Ball has actually been a little of a pain in the ass, but eh, whatever gets me a pedicure I'm alright with. lol.

On another subject, I am so ready for school to be over! I mean I know I was dying to do it before, but I need a break! This semester has been homework 24/7 the whole time! Luckily the semester is almost over...

Oh yeah, and on top of that, I'm planning my sister's baby shower. AND I need to finish her baby blanket...well for now I am just going to get to sleep. Seriously. I'm tired.

Yay cold!

Its been a while....

2008-10-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

So I have been severely neglecting my blog which is strongly out of character for me. I guess I've just been busy with homework, family, and parties.
Last Thursday Sam found a car he wanted to buy up in San Diego. He had been looking for a car for a while and finally I said "yes" to going up there if he wanted to buy it.
Well I mostly said "yes" because I wanted to go see my family because I had not seen them in a while, but Sam doesn't have to know that. Haha.
Anyway, after our trip and a little incident where I got super upset for being ditched, I spent all of Friday and Saturday morning visiting with the sis. I wished I could have stayed all weekend, but Saturday was Vicky's birthday party for Monty and J.J., so I couldn't miss that.
So I get back from San Diego, get ready, and head to Vicky's. My whole intention that day was to get wasted, so I started doing jello shooters and drinking beer as soon as I get there. Not a big deal except that there was little children everywhere! Haha, well all in all I got wasted and had fun doing it too.
Sunday I had no hangover and I just spent the whole day doing homework.
And today I went to school, went to a job fair, did some errands with Sam (which included driving his car) and now I gotta do homework.

In other news, my cousins are moving away to Minnessota and my Aunt is devastated. I am wondering how my cousin Andrea is going to survive there because she is used to the big city of LA, but who know's. Maybe she'll love it. Anyway, there was also a disgusting amount of cockroaches in our front porch a little while ago. I freaked out and luckily Kenny was there to sweep them away.

This weekend is our Halloween party and I'm totally excited. I can't forget to get candy and another pumpkin so Sam and I can carve them.

well back to my homework. ciao.

Halloween bash '08

2008-10-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

So Sam and I are throwing a Halloween Party. I'm super excited because I am planning on making this party the best halloween party I've ever made. (Okay, so I've only made one previously and it was in like 9th grade and REALLY sucky BUT at least I've got something to top!)

Besides that things are going good. Almost didn't go to school this morning just because I didn't want to, but I finally convinced myself to go. We had a test this week that I think I could have done better on so I'm kind of kicking myself about it. Oh well. Shit happens.

Tomorrow Vicky and I are going to a Halloween Party at the club here on base. Its 18 and over to get in, and (obviously) 21 to drink. I'm planning on drinking before we go so I don't have to worry about that ;)
We're also going to dress up so I'm excited about that. I'm going to be a nurse again, but eh, whatever.

Vicky's birthday party thing is next Saturday (as opposed to this one) so yeah, every weekend there is something to do! Awesome.

I've been super missing my family lately and I really hope we can go see them at least as early as Thanksgiving. We'll see...I really need a job.

Well I'm off to put my hair up and get ready to go out on a walk with Vicky. :)

The pumpkin pie debacle

2008-10-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first day it was cold outside during the day. I was so totally and completely happy that I decided to celebrate by making pumpkin pies.

Well I call Vicky up and tell her that I'm trying to make some pies and she says that she wants to make one too. So we decide to go to the store together. We're buying all our things and when I go to look for the pumpkin pie mix, there are two cans. One only calls for evaporated milk and eggs, while the other calls for the same two things in addition to ground ginger, cloves, and cinnamon. Well I decide to get the cheaper one, which is the latter can of pumpkin pie mix, and go get the ground ginger, because I knew I didn't have any. Well throughout the course of the night, the 3 pumpkin pies I made had two things wrong with them.

1) I didn't notice the can said GROUND cloves, and I had WHOLE cloves, so guess who had to smash them up into not so small pieces??? Well that was for one pie. The other two just had the whole cloves pushed into the top and taken out after they were cooked.

AND

2) The most noticeable and determining screw up I made: I didn't notice the can said I needed a tsp of cinnamon, 1/2 a tsp of ground ginger and 1/4 tsp of cloves. INSTEAD
I put a TBSP, a 1/2 TBSP, and a 1/4 TBSP of everything.

So, all in all my pies came out very bland, and not very pumpkin-ee at all. Vicky and I tried to salvage them by putting syrup on them, but although they are edible, they are not all that great.

Once again my dee dee dee got the best of me. Haha! I learned that next time I am getting the more expensive, less HASSLE, can of pumpkin pie mix. lol

Well all in all it was a fun night last night. And the best part?

The candy cane hot chocolate Vicky and I enjoyed while sitting in front of her house in the cold. :)

Strange Dreams

2008-10-11T13:28:00.000-07:00

I've been having some crazy dreams lately. I don't know what is causing them, but I know they leave me all confused and weird in the morning. Hah.

Well I don't know what I want to do with today. I was so busy yesterday. I think I want to do homework, but besides that I'm not sure. I feel like I do want to keep busy, though, just to keep me from wondering what my dreams were about.

I have a few things to do for homework. I want to go out and get a few groceries too, but I don't know if I should go right now or when Sam wakes up.
Also I am contemplating getting in the shower, but I don't know if should wait for that too until Sam gets up.

I feel kind of restless though.

Kenny is away for the weekend a think. He went to see his daughter in Cali. So its just me and Sam this weekend, except that Sam works all weekend. Well maybe not Sunday night.

Well I think I'm just going to do some homework. Sounds good...

:)

Too sore for words

2008-10-09T17:59:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I went to a weight class at the gym (as previously mentioned). Well it was all great at the time. I mean I felt like I was actually working for something and that I got a good work out. Well come Monday morning, I felt like my legs had been smashed into by a big ass two-by-four. I could not, for the life of me, bend my legs and walk normally. I couldn't even sit down on the toilet, my legs hurt so much! And I had to waddle everywhere, not to mention the agony I was in going up and down the stairs! OMG.

I did not see that coming, and guess what? I still have it today. I've been in pain! And pain killers aren't helping. I should take a bath...maybe the warm water will help.

But besides my distracting condition, yesterday I went to a fashion show on base with a newly wed marine wife. It was an okay time...to be honest the fashion show was kind of lame, but at least it didn't take up too much of my time.

Sam and I had an English paper due yesterday, but he convinced me to e-mail the teacher that our internet was down. Now it sounds funny that we're e-mailing her when the excuse is making it so we cannot turn in our papers, but supposedly Sam was going to e-mail her from work. So yeah. Today I got a paper to work on.

Also tomorrow I have that job interview which I am kinda glad to be going to, but kinda bummed that I have to be there at 8am. I mean I have to get up hella early and I don't even know where it is. Regardless I hope I get the job (whatever it is) lol.

Okay, time to write my paper. Hope it doesn't take all night!

Its only Tuesday

2008-10-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

This week has been crazy long. I feel like it should be over already!

Well Saturday we had people over for some reason, and Kenny bought Rock Band I and II so we were playing almost all night. Well come Sunday morning I notice that I don't see the cats around. I ask Sam if he's seen them and then I notice that Kenny is still asleep so I assume they are in his room. Well when he wakes up I ask him if the cats were in his room and he says no. We search the house, and they are gone.

It was horrible, that feeling that my babies were out there in the real world, surviving on their own and possibly getting into trouble. Well I was devastated and I kept insisting that someone HAD to have let the door open or physically taken them out for them to escape, and you know that the former speculation is probably exactly what happened.

So come Monday morning, I get home from school and Sam is outside talking to the animal control lady. She started showing me the humane traps that she was going to set, and who do we hear meowing but Loki underneath the neighbors BBQ in the front yard. So the babies came back, and the cutest thing was that they stuck together. That's what brothers are for....:)

Well that was yesterday. Today after school I agreed to go to the gym with this marine Brittney to a weight class. Well she didn't show but I decided to stay anyway and Holy cow! I am beat from that stuff...seriously! But it was fun and I'm going to try to go more often.

Tomorrow I have an eye appointment after school and then this Friday I have a job interview with this Harvesting place for a clerical job. Wish me luck!

So yeah...that's been life so far. I need to work on my homework and I really want to do some gardening in the front yard, but I think I'm too beat.

First of the month

2008-10-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

So far the week has gone by good. I was a little annoyed Monday night (I wanted to spend time with Sam which the universe insisted on imposing in), satisfied last night (I was craving fried shrimp, so we went to Applebees), and today I'm just surprised its already October. Also yesterday I suppose Kenny officially moved in. I'm waiting to see how it works out because I generally get along with him, but living together is another situation. Hopefully it isn't too much of bad thing.

School is going good...still haven't heard from the bookstore on campus. Hopefully its good news when they finally get back to me...

Besides that I just have homework to do (which I'm going to work on in a little bit) and just enjoying the subtle sounds of the AC and the fish tank.

Ahhh...quietness is nice.

Healthy eating and random crafts

2008-09-27T18:04:00.000-07:00

Well I've been eating healthier as of late due to the fact that Sam said it looked like I gained weight. Ouch huh? But I guess I need a slap in the face once in a while...lol.

I've been doing homework today, but I want to work on more fall decorations. Yesterday I made a little scarecrow magnet. It originally was suppose to go on a wood panel I had decorated, but apparently it didn't match (according to Sam) so I just stuck a magnet to it.

I also got some tiny pumpkins at the store yesterday that I don't know what to do with yet. I'll find some way to decorate them...

Anywho we let all the baby fish free from their little confinement section. I hope they all survive! I was scared to let them out, but Sam said they were big enough. Cross your fingers!

Mmm...I'm kinda hungry....I'm out!

Hope for the job

2008-09-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

I had a job interview yesterday at the college bookstore on campus. It was one of the most nerve-less interviews I think I've ever done, partly on the fact that the store manager was also learning how to give interviews. I really hope they call me for the job. I hope my availability and everything just comes together to give me a job. Oh man I want that job!

Anyway everything else is going great. The cable is awesome except that I'm still getting used to which channels are the tv show one's. We have like a million sports channels that I have to scroll through when I use the guide but its okay as long as we have HBO. Haha.

Sam works this whole weekend which sucks cuz that means I'm barely going to see him. At least next weekend he has off.

I think I'm going to work on some homework in a little bit...but I was also thinking about decorating the house. I really want to decorate for the fall! I think I'm going to look through my craft supplies and see what I come up with.

Okay off to the rest of the day! And possibly some more coffee. :)